


of dreams, fears and hope

by subject_layla



Series: unrelated related fics [3]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, How Do I Tag, Kory being a mom, Kory solving problems, Operation Save Conner, Post-Episode: s02e07 Bruce Wayne, Rachel learning to trust herself, Women Being Awesome, between episodes 5 and 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subject_layla/pseuds/subject_layla
Summary: Rachel never dreamed. She realized a long month after Trigon that she was the only one who was not caught by a dream. Well… Gar too, but he was never caught, period. So when he exposed her fear, the fear of being a bomb just ready to explode, Rachel took it hard. Logically, she knew it was her fault too. She didn’t want to blame him for the whole kidnapping thing, but she thought they were a team.They as the two of them. The fucked-up kids with no multibillionaire to count on.But then, he leaved with Jason and all she could feel was the pain in her chest, the loneliness, the fear. Everyone left in the end. Even Kory, even Gar.Or the real reason Kory asked to Rachel contain her in order to heal Conner.





	of dreams, fears and hope

Rachel never dreamed. She realized a long month after Trigon that she was the only one who was not caught by a dream. Well… Gar too, but he was never caught, period. Rationally, she knew that dreams were something good, or at least normal, but the fogginess that came everytime she closed her eyes were not normal. It was like being disconnected from her body, transported by the others to theirs memories and hopes and _ nightmares _.

Ever since her heart was ripped and the jewel placed in her forehead, everything felt disconnected. It was like a lucid dream, but one she didn’t have control over it. She could not say when her body would just be instinct and fear and rage. So much rage.

So when she and Gar fought, and he exposed her fear, the fear of being a bomb just ready to explode, Rachel took it hard. Logically, she knew it was her fault too. She didn’t want to blame him for the whole kidnapping thing, but she thought they were a team.

They as the two of them. The fucked-up kids with no multibillionaire to count on.

But then, he leaved with Jason and all she could feel was the pain in her chest, the loneliness, the fear. Everyone left in the end. Even Kory, _ even Gar. _

And maybe that was for the best, she once said that no one around her was safe. They would be just fine without her... But she was so so selfish.

Rachel could not afford to be alone, even if being alone was something she was used to. Before, when Melissa was still alive and homework was the most scary thing in her life, she pretended not to care. It was easier. She didn’t have to deal with all the drama of being a teenager, or the drama of dealing with others teenagers. She had enough with all the emotional thing going on. But now Dick gave her a family, and Angela gave her answers and then her biological mother take it all away by helping Trigon…

He gave her power. But nothing came without a price. Yeah, she didn’t dream, per se. However, she did close her eyes and her body still needed to rest. And that was the scarier hour.

Rachel could see everyone in the Tower when she closed her eyes. Donna and her eyes full of ghosts and memories and pain. Dawn and Hank clinging onto each other searching for strength and support. Dick trying so hard to keep the team together when he could barely hold himself. Conner and his fever, sleeping through the beeps with just hints of a childlike nature. Jason and his everlasting fall. Rose and her façade, but also her anger at every punch throw in a bag. Kory and her drink and her doubt, spreading like a disease around her Tamaran heart.

And Gar.

His hope dimming, his smiles more and more contained, almost practiced.

_ It’s all your fault _ , the voice inside her head said. Sounded like herself, but it wasn’t herself. _ You were born to make life miserable. Why do you fight against your own nature? _

_ This is not my nature _ , she replied. _ This is not my fault _.

It was like seeing her reflection again. But this time she didn’t believe herself. She almost killed Rose. Scratch that. She_ killed _ Rose. Truly felt the life leaving her body, her skin under her hands. If it wasn’t the metahuman factor, the Deathstroke’s daughter would still be dead.

_ But she wasn’t _ . A tiny part of her supplied. _ And you aren’t a monster. _

_ Yes, I am _. Rachel answered.

~*~

Kory didn’t even think twice when she heard the woman, Eve, her name was Eve, saying they would need the sun to heal Conner, she took action. The only thing she needed was something to shield, to hold back her powers so maybe she would not be responsible for destroying the Tower.

Option one, she could leave to somewhere desert with him and hope the rest of the civilization didn’t notice something that looked like an atomic bomb. With satellites and the League it was unlikely. It was too much energy for the Earth and once the fire spread it out there was no way of control it.

Option two, she could ask Dick if there was some kind of container that could hold her back, a technology similar to what the cult used in the asylum. But Dick was nowhere to be found… And she felt lost.

Then she saw Rachel. Her eyes fighting exhaustion and a mug in her hands filled with coffee. The idea hitted Kory like a comet. Maybe, just maybe, she could give the girl an opportunity to do something, to heal someone, an outlet for her powers and everything that she was clearly fighting against.

Kory knew better than most that fight against your own nature was a lost war. But this didn’t mean that natures could be somewhat changed, only if in the slightest, enough to make something bad be good. After all, the line between Good and Evil was so thin.

“Rachel, I need your help.”

The girl blinked once, twice, not clearly _ there _ yet. But turned to the alien.

“Okay”, her voice extended the vowels between a yawn.

When Kory explained what she needed, Rachel froze. This was nothing like what she was expecting. Sure, the day before she tried to heal Conner, only to find out there was nothing more she could do. Her powers were different now. Healing took more energy than before, and always gave her headaches.

“I don’t think this is a good idea”, Rachel murmured sooner after the shock left her body.

“Why not?”

“I’m not… strong enough.”

“Rachel, you stopped the end of the world. You are strong enough.”

“It’s not that”, the girl said, voice only above a whisper. “I’m not strong enough to control myself. What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t hurt me.” The tone was final. “We don’t have much time, Conner doesn’t have time.”

The half-demon took a deep breath. Slow. She nodded with so much uncertainty that Kory raised an eyebrow.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay”, she repeated, with a steadier voice. She still didn’t trust herself, but she trusted Kory.

The Tamaranean sprinted through the corridors, followed by Rachel. The girl didn’t understand anything that was happening. It was supposed to be a very exhausting, boring and normal morning. Or as normal things could be in the tower. But here she was, following an alien to the infirmary, were another alien, half-alien, was injured.

There it goes the hope of normalcy.

A woman stood inside, next to the bed, stroking Conner’s face, the sadness and regret struck the girl, but there was also love. Love similar to what Melissa felt for her, a lifetime ago, growing at every second. Oh, and there was a dog.

“Alright, Eve, stay back” Kory instructed. “This may get a little crazy.”

_ Little is a big euphemism _, Rachel thought. This would be a lot crazy and probably messy, or perhaps deadly.

“You ready?”

_Hell no._

“Uh… I hope so”

“Rachel”

It was a reprimand. But it was also a request.

_ Focus _.

“Yeah… Obviously, I am fully confident.”

_ Liar _.

Kory let out a brief sigh.

“Just contain me.”

Rachel could felt her missing heart hammering in her chest. It was not a logical sensation, but it was a reminder that she still had something human, even if it was only the thrill and a ghost heart.

“Let’s do it.”

The half-demon took a deep breath, focusing on the area she had to protect, on Kory, on Conner. She thought about Dick and the burden of being his A-student, but more than that, she thought of Donna, Dawn and Hank. The old Titans and the new ones. She had to make it right, to prove it that her powers were somewhat controlled. She knew she was powerful, but power without a direction only brought chaos.

When the energy left her body it was like breathing for the first time. She felt free. It was like flying, feeling every inch of the room, every person on the building, but it didn’t overwhelm her. It felt natural.

And when returned it was painful, but it was also fulfilling. Specially when Conner gasped, and she felt the pride radiating from Kory. She did it. They did it.

But he was still naked and hugged in Kory and Rachel though that it looked a little unsettling, but it was almost normal given the circumstances.

“Hi” she saluted, trying to sound nonchalant as possible.

Kory looked at her and then past her, the woman was truly relieved.

“I think you can pick up from here, _ God _.”

There was truly a joke that Rachel was missing. But she didn’t care, she couldn’t believe what they had done.

Kory guided her back to the kitchen.

“I’m proud of you.”

“I… thank you, Kory.”

The smile on the woman’s lips made Rachel felt like she belonged.

Between aliens, science-experiments gone wrong, metahumans and super-trained-sidekicks, maybe there was a place for her.

Or maybe she could only dream. Rachel never dreamed, not anymore, but she still had hope.

That should be enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> So... hey, I was watching the show and the way they are just ignoring the complications of Rachel's powers was kinda of annoying me. So I started to write and that was the result.  
Hope you like it. I don't have betas, and english is not my first language. That said, constructive criticism is always welcomed. Thnks. R&R <3
> 
> Maybe I write a part 2.


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